The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
