You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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