I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
