can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
