she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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