He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
