im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
