Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Randomize