i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
