you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
