do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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