Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
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I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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