Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
