you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems