can we get nightvision for the apartment?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.