Texts From Last Night

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  (440): View more from Ohio

  We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!

  (1-440): View more from Ohio

  I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!

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  (440): We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days! (1-440): I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!! http://tfl.nu/v3m4
  Replies (80) Good night (1260) Bad night (4013)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there

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  (774): im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there http://tfl.nu/wpso
  Replies (8) Good night (4871) Bad night (1095)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?

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  (203): Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook? http://tfl.nu/084o
  Replies (16) Good night (3904) Bad night (1957)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time

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  (317): You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time http://tfl.nu/w7q6
  Replies (13) Good night (7700) Bad night (1143)
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  (415): View more from California

  Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?

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  (415): Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide? http://tfl.nu/adm7
  Replies (15) Good night (2556) Bad night (1145)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles

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  (847): I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles http://tfl.nu/eek8
  Replies (9) Good night (1649) Bad night (595)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow

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  (321): Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow http://tfl.nu/go53
  Replies (9) Good night (1418) Bad night (840)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....

  (1-540): View more from Virginia

  I seemed to have misplaced my pants...

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  (540): Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?.... (1-540): I seemed to have misplaced my pants... http://tfl.nu/s4v6
  Replies (5) Good night (1049) Bad night (363)
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  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.

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  (339): Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning. http://tfl.nu/1tmw
  Replies (0) Good night (348) Bad night (512)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.

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  (313): From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours. http://tfl.nu/36vr
  Replies (4) Good night (965) Bad night (607)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later

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  (425): I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later http://tfl.nu/4jkk
  Replies (3) Good night (1174) Bad night (340)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong

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  (605): Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong http://tfl.nu/jxwn
  Replies (1) Good night (560) Bad night (314)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.

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  (605): I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help. http://tfl.nu/advt
  Replies (0) Good night (382) Bad night (311)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...

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  (+44): Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout... http://tfl.nu/yqu4
  Replies (3) Good night (273) Bad night (512)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling

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  (724): Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling http://tfl.nu/ere5
  Replies (0) Good night (506) Bad night (264)

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