I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.