Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
All I want is dick and wine.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
