I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
