I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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