I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i just had sex bonerless
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
