he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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