im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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