either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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