Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize