Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
my liver is dry heaving
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize
