Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
