Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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