Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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