Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
