so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
