TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
