i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I just gargled with NyQuil
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
