New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
