She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
