I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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