is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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