it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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