i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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