Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
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Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
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If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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