I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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