Please, let me fuck your mom
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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