If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize