I've blown a few things in my day
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
