ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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