If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize