Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
why do cheetos always look like penises
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
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