i don't like sucking hair
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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