Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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