Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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