it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
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