Swine flu is the new snow day.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
