you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
i drank out of a bidet.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Randomize
