they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
