He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
