You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
