Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
