I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
