We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
We talked him into tasing himself.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
