I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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