Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize