Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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