Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
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