I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
