he was CRYING into my vagina
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
