Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
he fucked my hip out of place.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Couch. On fire.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
