I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
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