i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize