Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
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I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
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Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
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